Birth moms and Spanish Courses

I did a public search for Annah's birth mom... I twitch a bit when I use the word 'mom' but, when I watch all those Locator shows with Troy Dunn and such, they always say "Hi I'm your mom"...or "I'm your REAL mom"... Not sure how I feel about that...so I would be the fake mom? LOL :-) But still, I guess it just amazes me at how natural that just comes...for the birth parent after 18 or more years to automatically fall into the role of addressing themselves as the real mom or real dad... I think its just the way the brain is wired... if you have created them, you are, no matter what, their 'real mom' and the one who raised them is like the substitute teacher or something. I guess I watch to many of those shows...
Anyhooos, after 4 years I found her. She's locked up so, an address was easy. I printed out pictures of Annah and sent her a letter letting her know Annah is happy and healthy. Paul was hesitant asking me why I would do that when she may not even care... I said...of course she cares. The part of her that may not care is the drugs but the mother in her will always care and she hasn't seen Annah since she was 3 months old and I'm sure she has moments of thinking about her...I just want her to know she is okay and I felt very strongly about it.
I did not include any family pictures...just of Annah.
I also explained to her we changed her name as Regina did not name her Annah but rather "Ruby". I did not include a return address or email or any such contact information. I figure if she wanted to seek me out she could always contact our past caseworker. I'm not closed to contact but I am not certain or sure about it. I was sure about the letter and the need to let her know Annah is okay...but thats the extend of it for now.

I did it. I enrolled in a Beginner Spanish Class at the local college.
At first I thought...gosh, I'm probably to advanced for this class. ( hysterical laughter )... but Tiffany assured me I would benefit. I have decided I will take every single Spanish course offered. I think there are about 8.

On the other hand, I only have 2 other courses to take to acquire an Associates of Arts degree. All the online courses were taken. Can you believe it? I even registered early. I will try again for Summer.

Fall Festival & White Mama

I went with a load of friends to a Fall Festival last night... it was at a church in Allen as an alternative to trick or treating/halloween stuff.

I am a Christian who is aware of the dark side. I comprehend spirits and demons and devil worship and sacrifice and the practice of it intesifies on this date.

I understand many Christians would judge me for doing ANYTHING to participate in such a day....

AND.... its always rather interesting to me how people regard Annah and I. Sometimes the white folk are extra sweet and kind to her....like they know she was orphaned and she now gets extra special attention from them because of it... and the black folk seem to regard her as ...well, bless her heart her white mama doesn't know how to do that child's hair....she needed some corn rows... and thats what I heard last night... that Annah needed corn rows. LOL... they called her a little African Princess in need of corn rows. :) I buy the BEST products I can find for her hair... I get them at Carols Daughter .... I get the Hair Milk and Black Vanilla leave in Conditioner and I am never without the body butters for her skin. AND, atleast I get complimented on her skin! :) White people always think her hair looks marvelous but what do they know????? LOL !!!
All in all, it was a fun night...watching Annah run and laugh and play just made my exhausted self feel all happy. :) I was amazed at her independence and her ability to just run in and play with other children and go down big slides and do things that seemed actually a little scary to me! I'm kinda a big weenie.