Drowning discouragment with M&M's and Biscuits....

I went to the college this morning to my Spanish class and was suddenly overwhelmed. I can read it, write it and think it but I can't speak it. I just can't pull the words together and I also can't really understand so well when the language is spoken. And, I had the awful, awful, awful, awful, awful privilege of listening to myself speak Spanish... oh my gosh... can you even comprehend Spanish with a TX accent... just hideous. I'm the one who is always on time, sits on the front row, has all my homework typed to perfection and completed on time and yet when the professor ask me a question in Spanish I'm like a deer in headlights... 'uhhhhh huh'???? I think, seriously, I was the only one in the class who drew the blank... everyone else was answering back on que...but me... I got all hung up on if I was suppose to say "tu or su or tus or sus in my sentence..."..... *big sigh*

I came home from class and in an effort to drown out my discouragement ate many many Peanut M & M's and then made up a batch of biscuits from Bisquick and slathered them in butter and blackberry jam and ate several with a glass of whole organic milk. I feel a little better. Thats how people gain weight... eating to console. But since I jog daily I don't usually think to much about eating this or that. I tend to like good stuff most of the time although I need chocolate all of the time...daily. I seriously feel suddenly distressed if I discover there isn't chocolate in the house at my beck and call and whim and that really rarely happens ....me being out of chocolate. I will drive miles out of my way to pick up a bag of chocolate and a box of cookies to have and to hold.... I even have frozen snickers bars in the big freezer in the basement just incase there is some earth disaster and we can't get to the stores... along with my other stuff I have 'stored' such as water and matches...I have chocolate...frozen bars of chocolate... thats really about it of things I have stored ...water, matches, chocolate. Seriously.


..."Right now we are kind of low key because back there I was crying a little bit so I’m still trying to get over that. You say, “Well why were you crying.” It was a very selfish cry. Everywhere I go I look around and I see what God is doing and opening doors like this to us. And when I walk in it affects me. Because I know better than anybody that by all rights and means God should not use me. But He does and I’m extremely thankful. Nobody knows how thankful I am"...... Curry Blake

Connecting My Dots

Sooooooo, I went to the College like I said I would. I sat down with an adviser and asked her to review all my courses...since 1986... and see if I have an Associates degree in ANYTHING. That was going to come first and then I was going to build on whatever I had to get a degree with the major emphasis on Spanish. I have been plugging away at teaching myself Spanish for awhile now... I use Rosetta Stone and Spanish for Gringos along with several online sources. Here is one of my favorites: 123TeachMeSpanish

The good news is that I have everything I need as the core for an Assoicates of Arts degree. I have 57 hours. I lack ONE class to have a 2 year degree... this does not include my other ooooodles of classes because I actually have enough for 2 Associate degrees...one in E -Business Media if I took a couple more courses but that doesn't float my boat anymore so... I am sticking to the Associates of Art degree with an emphasis on Spanish. Next Semester I will take the one class I lack which is Drama or Art and then a Spanish class and I will be done with that.

Next I will move on to an actual connection of the major dots... something I can actually use if I need to as an interpreter or.... just to be able to communicate in Panama or Costa Rica when going to see Alan and Karmy and hopefully doing missions work in the jungle.

I LOVE this hut...I could live in this hut so happily. I suppose my real hope is that someday we can move to do missions work with YWAM... full time... like within 2 years even maybe. Alan and Karmy are moving here this coming Monday. where Karmy will do DTS training and Alan will be doing missions work. They are involved with the Nicoya Indians as the base is right there in the jungle.

So, as I wait.... I diligently pursue the Spanish language...hope to connect my dots with this degree stuff and then either God will allow us to move where I can communicate...and Paul is picking up some of the language too but his focus is on other things right now.. :)... so we can do that or, I will have doors that can open up into ministry here by having that sort of degree or certification. It is where my heart and passion is right now in this moment so its where I will walk.

It is a brand new journey and here I come! :)