Drowning discouragment with M&M's and Biscuits....

I went to the college this morning to my Spanish class and was suddenly overwhelmed. I can read it, write it and think it but I can't speak it. I just can't pull the words together and I also can't really understand so well when the language is spoken. And, I had the awful, awful, awful, awful, awful privilege of listening to myself speak Spanish... oh my gosh... can you even comprehend Spanish with a TX accent... just hideous. I'm the one who is always on time, sits on the front row, has all my homework typed to perfection and completed on time and yet when the professor ask me a question in Spanish I'm like a deer in headlights... 'uhhhhh huh'???? I think, seriously, I was the only one in the class who drew the blank... everyone else was answering back on que...but me... I got all hung up on if I was suppose to say "tu or su or tus or sus in my sentence..."..... *big sigh*

I came home from class and in an effort to drown out my discouragement ate many many Peanut M & M's and then made up a batch of biscuits from Bisquick and slathered them in butter and blackberry jam and ate several with a glass of whole organic milk. I feel a little better. Thats how people gain weight... eating to console. But since I jog daily I don't usually think to much about eating this or that. I tend to like good stuff most of the time although I need chocolate all of the time...daily. I seriously feel suddenly distressed if I discover there isn't chocolate in the house at my beck and call and whim and that really rarely happens ....me being out of chocolate. I will drive miles out of my way to pick up a bag of chocolate and a box of cookies to have and to hold.... I even have frozen snickers bars in the big freezer in the basement just incase there is some earth disaster and we can't get to the stores... along with my other stuff I have 'stored' such as water and matches...I have chocolate...frozen bars of chocolate... thats really about it of things I have stored ...water, matches, chocolate. Seriously.


..."Right now we are kind of low key because back there I was crying a little bit so I’m still trying to get over that. You say, “Well why were you crying.” It was a very selfish cry. Everywhere I go I look around and I see what God is doing and opening doors like this to us. And when I walk in it affects me. Because I know better than anybody that by all rights and means God should not use me. But He does and I’m extremely thankful. Nobody knows how thankful I am"...... Curry Blake