Hello from Heaven

I love birds. No, love doesn't truly describe how I feel about birds... I am in awe of them.

Living out here in the 'wild' I can usually only watch the birds from afar... they are very distrusting. The Blue Herrings, the Hawks, Vultures, Crows...all kinds of birds that I come up on in my walks and runs will take off the moment my presence is spotted and often before I see them. Often and suddenly the Herring will screech out of a tree always making me jump at its loud sounding panic war type cry or a tree of crows will suddenly fill the sky.

Many times I see a magnificent Hawk gliding through the air in the very far distance, with its amazing eyesight, if it even sees me step outside onto my path, it turns around and takes off another direction, even though I am far away and on the ground, it will take off away from me.

Yesterday was one of those days. I had so much stuff on my plate and around my plate and I didn't know how to process some of it...nor how to arrange the other half and some I just wanted to toss off but it would not of been prudent... so, there was my plate full with side dishes and stuff oozing off and I just stared at it unsure of how to make it all fit into my life and also make it fit emotionally... and to top all it off and in addition to my oozing plate, my little beloved 14 year old Pug, Pudge... is seemingly now in the end of her days. Her quality of life has just plummetted the past few days .... I hate to even think about the trip to the vet. I hand fed her her favorite cooked chicken today from my hand...the only way she will eat... I couldnt' get her to take her heart medication so I had to put it down her throat which I hated to do but if she doesn't take it she coughs and has lung congestion...anyways...

So as I went out in the misting rain yesterday with ... not exactly a heavy heart but my heart was just ... not knowing how to process everything .... I love Sudoku and its a mind puzzle where you eliminate numbers and make them all fit into a row, column and box ... I was thinking...what can I eliminate...how do I make all this stuff fit... but then I would just kinda freeze up and not process any of it and this was all just like a rock in my stomach and in my mind......

..... and as I was jogging in the mist I saw this Hawk... the Hawk was not to far away... he was flying off in front of me rather low... I had never seen one so close to me ever... and so low... out of just delight I was kinda silly and yelled out "hellooooooo" and began to um..... well...wave my arms at the low flying Hawk... and guess what? Instead of taking off, he slowed down. I kid you not. He not only slowed down but he stayed until as I was jogging he was directly over me!!!!!!!!!!...so close I could see him very well .... and in the moment of excitement I then began to panic because I thought... hey, maybe he has a big ego and thinks he can have me as dinner...maybe pickens are slim and I'm looking like a big rat.... so his close proximity and my amazement to it quickly turned to an eerie feeling... I mean seriously... could I take down a Hawk??? But I tossed out that moment of fear and focused on the fact that he was just so stunning and beautiful and CLOSE and it was very surreal and very beautiful and amazing and I just wanted to take it for what it seemed... a Hawk was souring over me as I jogged... very slowly and very low... as a hello from Heaven and yes, I said "HELLOOOO" back.... I said it many times...laughing, waving my arms like a lune and very delighted. I went back into the house feeling amazed, very much in awe and feeling very much hugged. :)