Deceptive Views

On our 22cd anniversary, July 6th, Paul and I took our canoe out on the lake with Annah who was well equipped in her mega body life jacket that keeps her completely afloat and her head above water. Tested, tried, true.

As we paddled to right smack in the middle of the lake I told my dear husband that I would like to jump in and swim to shore. He laughed. I proclaimed I have always wanted to do that and I was going to do just that. He then realized I was serious and said 'no way'. I was like 'way'. He was saying No,N O spells No... at this point I am thinking about the fact that as a good Christian wife I need to heed my husbands voice and not jump in but I sure wanted too. I began to feel like he was keeping me from doing something I really wanted to do but I didn't jump in... although I sure was close to just laughing and jumping in.

Every few moments as we kept paddling I would say "Okay, NOW can I jump in and swim". And he would adamantly tell me NO. He said he didn't want to lose me and I'm thinking... well thats kinda dramatic ya think? He said the shore is not as close as it looks because it did indeed looked like it was right there. He gave me reasons such as... I'm a jogger not a swimmer and its not as easy as it looks and even in Triathlons they only swim 1 mile distances and the shore was atleast 2 or 3 miles away and such and such.

Surely jogging 6 miles a day qualifies me to swim a mile or so to shore????

I can't actually swim but I can tread water and I kinda doggy paddle around. I envisioned me gently swimming by the canoe... paddling and treading and it would be so lovely.

Finally, closer to shore, close to where I was like Psssht.... piece a cake... he said to go ahead and jump in...well not actually jump because I would tip over the whole boat but, I slid in.

Not even 5 minutes... not even... I was doing my doggy paddling moves and it was not easy... I mean, the water looked gentle and calm from in the canoe but on the water I felt currents... and I was paddling hard to get to shore...like I worked up a sweat and when I looked up it looked like I hadn't even swam an inch and to my utter horror, the canoe was not right next to me. Paul could not possibly keep it right next to me in the current and with me not helping paddle... he was doing his best to steer it to shore but it was venturing further to the left.

Out of absolutely nowhere utter panic came over me. All the sudden I needed footing... I needed something to hang onto and there was nothing. I felt so helpless...no footing, nothing to hold and I panicked.. . I was so vulnerable out there like that. It doesn't take long to slip into the lake an not be found. I told Paul I needed back in the boat.. he realizes I am in a panic fear mode so he begins to tell me to try and calm down and he is trying to get the canoe to me which seems like forever. I prayed, prayed, prayed and kept my head above water.

What I had NOT thought about was even remotely the possibility that I could not make it to shore. That seemed impossible... of course I could make it to shore. Not making it was not even an option.

Therefore, the thought of if I couldn't make it or needed to and could not get to the boat did not cross my mind and therefore the thought of if Paul needed to get into 'save' me would mean that he would have to leave Annah in the boat and the boat would drift far away and she would then be terrified. These are things I had not thought about because the possibility that I would be in that predicament was not a possibility but there I was... in that predicament

...but at that moment I was not going under and at the moment I was staying afloat albeit in still a panic and flailing around.

So, finally he gets the canoe to me and I can't get in without tipping them over so I just clung on to the side. Canoes are slow especially with only one person paddling and dead weight hanging on although I did kick....

By the time we got to shore and my feet touched ground...my entire body was trembling and not just my body, I could feel my heart shaking. Not pounding...shaking. I have never felt that before. Never felt my internal organs shake although I have heard the saying "that made my liver quiver"...I guess thats what it means.

So, what did I learn from this? There always needs to be a lesson learned.

*I learned that objects, while being viewed from the lake, are not as close as they appear.
*My husband is wise.
*I can be wrong.
*I can be a complete idiot.
*I will never attempt that again.
*I like the ground.

"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go." - Abraham Lincoln